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The Four Agreements – “Don’t take anything personally”

GREAT MORNING!  

Welcome back to Unity Spiritual Center!

Good morning again, and it is great to be with you again.  Any way we can stay connected with you…right!

Let’s take a few moments to remember….not just what September 11th means to most of us, but to remember those who are not with us physically, but definitely, in Spirit.

We continue with our Series; “The Four Agreements

We are in our second week of this new series on the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. This series is giving us another opportunity to question where we are and where we wish to be headed on the spiritual journey, we call life.

Forward or backwards? Which will it be? Always your choice. Thought we know by now that going backwards isn’t really an option. Once we know these truths, we can’t really go back. That’s why our 5th Principle tells us to put our Truth into action, however that looks.

And these Agreements may help us all make the choices we need to make on the journey of forward motion.

Remember, these are agreements that you have made with life. You must have agreed with it to make it true for you.

So, did last week’s Message, “Be Impeccable with Your Word” start anything for you? Did it resonate? Did you consider your words and what they were telling you about yourself? About others?

We want to use our words to build up, not take down. We wish to speak with integrity and honesty.

This second agreement is about thoughts, words, and actions also, but it is about what others have to say about us and how we handle it.

“Don’t take anything personally”

When we take things personally, we are agreeing with what was said about us. We are trapped in ‘personal importance,’ everything is about me, me, me.

Are we really that self-centered?

Even when a situation seems so personal, maybe someone is insulting you directly, it’s not you. It’s the other person’s issue. Sometimes that’s hard to accept at the moment…we react instead or taking a breathe and respond.

I am sure we all have situations where we have been insulted, or hurt, by something that was said towards you. It can be difficult to not be offended when that statement hits a chord within you.

I can recall walking my first bichon, Tosha, she was getting old, walking slow, her fur not as thick, you could see her age spots through it. As we walked through the neighborhood, some teens skateboarded by us saying, “Ugly lady, ugly dog.” I must have believed that to have it bother me at the time.

Or when we had a chasm in our young Unity community a few years ago, I was told by one of the folks who suddenly left the congregation, that I didn’t know what I was doing, and we needed someone who did.

Each time I had to go within and see where I believed the statement and then heal that wound.

This is where forgiveness comes to play…again!

Forgiveness is the fulfillment of a divine law, one that can open my very soul to the presence of God within me and within others. Even when I believe I have been wronged by another person, I forgive — not just for the sake of the other person, but also for my own sake.

When I forgive, I am taking responsibility for cocreating my life. I don’t spend time blaming others for things in the past or make excuses for current outcomes. I invest my time and energy in cocreating powerful, new experiences in the present moment.

When I forgive someone, I may have some effect on that person, but I myself am deeply affected. Inner peace, caring, and respect fill my days as I bring spiritual qualities into expression in every activity of life.

So, pay attention to those times when we are wounded by another’s words or actions. See where the wound is that needs healing. And then work on that healing.

We can’t truly be free until we can stop taking things personally. At the time we get offended we have given our power to that person. We are being controlled by their words, behavior, their actions.

As soon as we understand that what others think about us is none of our business, we are free.

But when we buy into their words, we have given over to the attachment of those words…they now have meaning to us, we believe them. They have energy.

What would happen if we took that energy from being offended and use it to be transformed? To truly know who we are, what we are made of?

We are of God, Divine Spirit…we are spiritual beings; we are not powerless, not weak, but powerful.

Don’t react when someone says to you, “Now don’t take this personally, but…?” We know intellectually who we are, but we still get that gut reaction, don’t we?

We must learn to keep our hearts open and not take it personally. Whatever it is, it has nothing to do with us, it is about them. Hard to do…but it is worth the effort.

Stop living in the realm of emotions and the outer and begin to live from within. D not be a victim to others’ opinions…don’t take things personally.


Here are the steps to remember who we are when someone offends us:

  1. Be still, be silent
  2. Recognize that our buttons have been pushed.
  3. Look within to find the wounded place, an old story and heal it.
  4. Remember to open your heart.
  5. Remember we are made of spirit
  6. Remember that whatever anyone does or says to you, that it does not disturb the calm peace of your soul.

“Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality. When you are not immune to the opinions and actions of others, you will be the victim of needless suffering.”

Don’t choose suffering. Take the opportunity to transform that energy to growth. Be the true you…a part of our Creator, blessed to be here. Be grateful for all your blessings and share them with your family and friends. Share your love with the Earth and her children.

Let’s get back on track and take care of each other. And we can do that by knowing what we say and how we say it. Speak with truth and honesty, with compassion and love and we will transform our world to one of peace.


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