Home » Uncategorized » Living in the Flow of I Don’t – Andrea Evans

Living in the Flow of I Don’t – Andrea Evans

Hello and welcome. Thanks for joining Unity Spiritual Center’s Sunday Service for April 26th.

I am Andrea Evans a member of Unity Spiritual Center and a Unity practitioner for 30+ years.

Many people agree this is a time of great uncertainty for our nation and local communities as we strive to contain the spread of the Coronavirus.

We are being called to live differently than before the pandemic. Guidelines for protecting ourselves, our families, communities and countries keep shifting. When- the stay at home orders might ease is yet to be decided. What -a return to work will look like remains a question.

Our lives are changed – for a long time to come? Maybe forever? Most people fear change. They find it daunting – unpredictable – Unfamiliar and uncomfortable for sure.

Yet for a majority we have lived through changes that we initially dreaded but once familiar, the changes weren’t bad – often these changes brought enormous improvements to our lives.

Change can bring positive progress that reveals unseen potential and promise.

Perhaps due to the Coronavirus, you are unsure of what the future holds – what steps to take now? Or next?

What if I said, congratulations you are right where you are supposed to be? Welcome to the entrance ramp for your emotional and spiritual evolution.

“In the flow of I don’t know, gives God full throttle”

In Dr. Joe Dispenza’s 2019 NY Times bestseller, Becoming Supernatural – neuro-science researcher Dispenza writes
1. With proper knowledge and instruction, we (you and me, folks) can access greater creative abilities; tune to frequencies and energy beyond our material world & senses and into the quantum field of infinite possibilities.

Relaxing in the tides of change – in the “I don’t know” can give one the time and space to look around, to listen, to reflect, to reexamine inside ourselves and looking out on the physical world

Gaining confidence in not-knowing amplifies our perception beyond the five senses and loosen our tethers to the material world. Being comfortable with the mystery of life gives us broader and deeper access to our creativity and to infinite possibilities.

Pema Chodron, one of America’s best known Buddhist teachers and prominent authors, says:

Time of chaos and challenge can be the most spiritually powerful… if we are brave enough to rest in our space of uncertainty.

The tides of “I don’t know” can churn up thoughts we’ve hidden deep within our conscious or subconscious mind. These perceptions often surface as accusations ranging from selfishness and unworthiness to helplessness, greed or laziness.

Here’s where bravery comes in – It’s key to face the internal accusations to reflect realistically and determine if the accusation has any merit? Be as brave and honest as possible. You are uncovering precious resources and references. They provide the power for reinventing or transforming your life – building a better more improved you.
Self-inventory work will pay-off in self-understanding and acceptance. Self inventory can rub the rough edges and hard corners off one’s personality which permits us to get “outside the box” of self-prescribed limitations.
Best-selling author on healing and spirituality, Caroline Myss says;

3 We (humanity) has entered a new era of understanding the nature of the divine.

Doing a self-inventory allows one to be a more rounded individual capable of great love. Seeing yourself safely through the turning tides of self-inventory broadens your capacity to love yourself and others = that is divine.
In the calm waters of I don’t know, you can move into the idea of I don’t need to know. Perhaps it is in the pregnant pause when you relax and allow – I don’t need to KNOW” to hold your attention –divine ideas formulate?
For it is in that realm of neutrality – the stillness of the soul can reach your outer cognitive awareness.
Keeping your comfort while in the midst of change, it’s important to have tethers –practices which keep you connected to your divine nature.

30+ years of living and learning with Unity –practical Christianity for today’s world- my faith is solid. Thanks to the gift of a long life, I clearly see that God’s plan was and is far superior to the plans my youth. I’m grateful to God for fulfilling most of my life dreams well beyond my imagination.
Practice 1) Faith in God’s plan. She was and always is better at this than me.

Practice 2) When I’m in an uncomfortable, distressing or fearful situation, I’ll pray this prayer. “Show me the gift God. Show me the lesson.” This simple prayer has tipped my critical, pessimistic attitude to a positive point of view hundreds of time

When working to find comfort in not knowing I rely on any mix of these spiritual practices.

4 Practices like prayer, meditation, music, movement, ceremony, and nature. On Unity Worldwide Ministries website you’ll find links to Unity Radio, Silent Unity, Daily Word, Unity Magazine, inspirational books, blogs, videos, meditations and retreats.

Use these to keep your divine nature intact especially when navigating through change.

Now, I’d like to share a personal story…..

At 10 years old I promised myself, if I lived to be an adult, I would write a book about my childhood living in the guerilla warfare of domestic violence. I’d give my inner child the voice she never had. I’d share her perspectives on fear and the repeating cycle of violence.

For 30 years, I planned for retirement – knowing I was going to WRITE for the rest of my life. WRITING was –is my great joy. Thanks to writing, counseling and finding Unity that I circumnavigated many pitfalls of young adult life.

On and off from late 30s to early 40s, I wrote and revised a creative non-fiction manuscript sharing memories of domestic violence as a girl. There was a dozen revised drafts, beta-readers, proof-readers, and technical editors.
In my late 50’s I completed the umpteenth draft and thought the manuscript was ready for the literary agent search. I hired a professional content editor to evaluate. She was professional – insightful, diplomatic and truthful. Bottom line: The manuscript was not ready for the competitive, traditional publishing market.

No worries, I had just retired. Thanks to the detailed editorial letter from my content editor, I had a great road map for revising. I’d sit at the computer for hours and I’d revise one maybe two paragraphs. Next, I’d start on a different chapter. I’d spend hours with no sign of progress. Then I’d take a break. No big deal. It would get easier once I got going.

Revising went in fits and starts for months. I was tough on myself. “You’re going to sit there and do this until you get it right. I’d try and I’d cry. I’d run away. Then, I’d force myself to sit and revise. Each time I returned, reliving the trauma was more than I could handle. Soon, I wondered who would want to read it? It’s sad, no worse – it’s pitiful and relentless. That’s exactly how domestic violence was as a child.

The retirement plan I’d dreamed about – how happy and free I’d be to complete and publish the book, instead, it was painful, and disappointing. After a year of this, I faced I was not going to complete this life goal.

There I sat at 63 going what now God?? – I had no clue. I sat on my hands and rocked. Using a mix of divine practices for 6-8 weeks, I did my best to live in the unknowing limbo and to brave the confusion

Along the way gifts were revealed

God – my inner child and I all talked. They were content – I had written the book and fulfilled my promise. My inner child was happy to hear her voice – share her memories scary or not. God and my inner child were well-pleased with the manuscript and me.

I was the ONE that wanted the book published. I was embarrassed. I had told friends for 20 years about writing this book. I fought the revising battle for a year. I abused myself using the same methods I had seen and feared as a child.

At this point I want to share a quote. It stops me in my tracks every time I hear it. For me it’s so profound. I want you to hear it now.

5 There are no obstacles or challenges, only skills we have yet to master.

Tides of gifts and accusations churned within.

I was a grown woman mentally and emotionally abusing myself for an ego-driven goal. That realization rocked me – I was stunned – confused – in helpless unknowing.

Yes, I could be abusive, selfish, controlling, and a perfectionist. Those personality traits exist within me but they don’t define me. I was willing to release my selfish, controlling perfectionist tendencies. God had to show me the way. She had done a great job with the rest of my life – I couldn’t I refuse now.

The self-inventory accusations stopped. The peace that passes all understanding rolled in. Calm and centered- I’d say this was the “divine flow of I don’t know.”

Then gifts and more gifts washed over me. Writing that manuscript healed my heart. It gave me greater self-respect and for my mother as well. Family members had read various drafts of the manuscript. It helped heal us and saved my relationship with Mom.

I got a sense of accomplishment – my favorite motivator. I HAD kept my promise to my little girl self. We knew it wasn’t easy but together we were brave, dedicated and kind.

From that center of stillness, I asked God What next? What am I to do with the rest of my life?

At last, I got a reply in the form of a question – Isn’t that just like God? She asked: What brings you joy? – Four simple words – What brings you joy?

I knew the answer immediately – Nurturing the seedling Unity in DE. Yes, I’d help grow that spiritual center. I got elected to its board of directors. They needed a treasurer so I said yes. I didn’t know anything about accounting.

However, Myrtle Fillmore, co-founder of Unity, wisdom provided clarity.

6. It is not always best for a person to continue doing that which he likes or that which he has been trained…

We need to round out, to develop all of our faculties and powers to do that which brings us close to humanity and increases that which the world needs most.”

Saying yes to be the treasurer, let me be sure this was divine guidance. It certainly wasn’t something I’d volunteer of my own volition.

Gift from the shift: I’ve seen the power of God at work in the finances as well as volunteer resources of the ministry. I have increased confidence in my ability to manage my personal finances as well as the ministry’s. I’m stretched beyond my mind’s limitations and into divine possibility at least once to ten times a week! Being in the flow of I don’t know, gives God full throttle. Plus, our young Unity ministry is stronger and more grounded in our mission all the time.

7 Trusting the unknown, we raise our minds into the divine. From mystery comes revelation.

This Coronavirus could be the crowning jewel for global healing and positive change. Together we can do this. – Commit to getting or being comfortable with change. As we do this work individually – more and more humanity will connect to that which the world needs most = Divine Love.

Amen and blessings.


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