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Is your YES, yes, and your NO, no?


Is your yes, YES and your no, NO?

Great to see you this morning. And welcome to those of you who are watching & listening at home. We appreciate it and would love to see who you are, so, just take a moment and say Hi to us. We will say hi back.

Yesterday’s Daily Word started with this statement: “There is no situation the power of peace cannot transform. What a wonderful way to start a day! Of course, today’s affirmation, “Prosperity fills my life,” is a good affirmation too. If you’re not reading Daily Word, you are missing  uplifting start for you day.

Before we start, just a huge thank you to all our veterans for the work you have done, often with many sacrifices, to keep our Nation, all of us, safe. If you are a veteran, please stand and let us thank you…and bless you

          We love you

          We Bless you

          We behold the Christ in you.

So, this morning I wanted to chat a bit about choices. You all most likely know that our choice, our free will, is one of the biggest, most precious gifts we have been given as humans on this 5 senses journey in this physical plane.

There have been times, I’m sure, when we all have had a moment or more when we weren’t very happy with our lives. And why was that?

Most likely, it was because of a choice we made.

Remember our 3rd Principle; We are co-creators with God, creating reality through thoughts held in mind.

So, for the most part, our choices brought us to the different situations in our lives.

Every time you say YES to something, you are saying NO to something else

If we could look back with eyes & ears wide open, and look with an open heart, maybe we could truly ‘SEE’ what really happened in any situation. What was that choice we made that got us into the situation in the first place?

Be truthful. Sometimes it’s something we didn’t even realize would end in the situation it did. But it was a choice we made, somewhere along the path that turned the circumstances to the conclusion we were wrestling with.

There’s always a consequence. There’s always a reaction to our action. Newton’s Law: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Everything you think with energy behind it is put out into the Universe. That energy you are sending into the Universe will have a response to it.

As Rev. Dr. Paul Hasselback, metaphysics wizard says, watch your words…and I add no matter if they are thought or actual spoken, they are powerful.

Matthew 5:37 reminds us: “… let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.”

The evil one? What could our ancient writers mean with this statement? Well, in ancient times people did believe in an evil force. But we do not give power to some outside ‘devil’. Unity truth followers believe evil means:

That which is not of God; unreality; error thought; a product of the fallen human consciousness; negation.

There probably have been times in our past when we did believe in a ‘devil’, but that was before we followed this path of spiritual information, we were seekers until we unveiled this knowledge hidden within all of us; that we are all One, we are all Divine, made in the image and likeness.

“Your ‘yes’ to God requires your ‘no’ to all injustice, to all evil, to all lies to all oppression and violation of the weak and poor…” Dietrich Bonhoeffer

So, one of the more important ‘yes’s’ is the yes to the God of our understanding. We have all been seekers some time in our lives. For most of us, that seeking has brought us to Unity. Many others have come to our door and many other Unity churches & Centers, only to step away because Unity wasn’t their fit, not yet. It takes many steps on the path to be ready for the philosophy & Principles that are the backbone of Unity.

This is not saying anything, or anyone is better than or lower than, but that Unity takes a different look at things, and some cannot comprehend the science of metaphysics.

But back to yes and no.


Every time you say YES to something, you are saying NO to something else

Have you ever thought of it that way?

A perfect example from last weeks’ Message, Are you for peace or against war? One is positive and the other negative. We said yes to peace and therefore, we are saying no to war.

And our everyday choices bring about responses that may be what we thought would happen, or maybe we didn’t think before we ate that donut, or had a second, or third, or fourth (!) drink.

Action + reaction = consequence.  My Father was drinking with his golfing buddy and choose to get a ride with him = action, they had an accident = reaction, and my father’s death.

There are always consequences to our actions.

And they can be good. Action, me taking Unity classes, reaction, a better, more conscious, awaken me, further response, moving to Delaware and, with several friends, starting Unity.

This morning, those of you in attendance said yes to Unity in person, and no to staying home and watching online.

But let’s step away from God and Unity for now. Let’s talk in general terms.

How often do you find yourself saying yes to something when you really want to say no? Or maybe vice versa?

How often have you said yes to a friend or family member to aid in, say, moving them to another house? Or taking the kids for the day? Or, driving them to the airport? Or a number of other ‘favors’ people ask of others?

If we say YES or NO when we really mean it, it would be so much more meaningful to both persons.

We are all responsible and accountable for the choices we make. This makes for a more meaningful life.

This hits at the heart of what each of us controls—ourselves. No one else.                  

Or as Byron Katie would say, who’s business is it, mine, yours or Gods?

I’ve mentioned this before, several times actually, this is one of the reasons I love Unity Principles and expression so much…personal responsibility.

The way we choose to think, feel and act directly comes from one of two places—our egos or our higher self. If ego or personality is at the root of our thinking, feeling and acting, our choices may be based on lack, survival, or fear. None of these would come from our higher self. Rather, our higher self shows up as possibility thinking, gratitude and inquisitiveness.

From “Say Yes to What Really Matters in Your Life” By Martha Lynn

“When we listen to our higher self, choices, decisions, thoughts, feelings and actions take on a whole new realm of possibility. Our perceptions are more objective, our thoughts are more compassionate, our feelings are more loving, and our actions are in integrity.”

As an example, steeped in choice, intention and right action: Martin Luther King Jr. wrote “If you are called to be a street sweeper, sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. Sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, “Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.”

Of course, and yet we often unconsciously say no to choice, because we rely on that automatic pilot—our domestication, our habits, our ego-self—that we have relied on for many years.

Unconsciousness to our own light and power could be due to many things: our lack of awareness of who we really are, our lack of discipline, our lack of a plan, our willingness to play small.

Have you done that? Lower the light in your heart to not antagonize another?  “Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house” (Matthew 5:14) 

We just need to clearly remember and recognize who we are at the core of our being and act from that place of love and strength.

The Process according to “Say Yes to What Really Matters in Your Life” By Martha Lynn

  1. Identify your intention. Maria Nemeth, author of Mastering Life’s Energies and owner of the Academy of Coaching Excellence, trains coaches and shares her work through classes and writing. Maria teaches her students to start each day by asking: “Who am I willing to be in order to produce an extraordinary result out of this day?”

2. Become a self-observer.
We have to be able to observe our thoughts and the stories we are telling ourselves about our encounters. A great storyteller and meaning-making machine person can listen to a few words in a team meeting, phone call or dialogue with another and create an entire three-act play. Ego loves drama, fear and power, and many stories are great tragedies.

It’s important to quickly observe the stories and stresses we are experiencing … and to be able to redirect the reactions in ways that will be helpful to ourselves and others.

  • Take authentic action.
    “Authentic” in this context means to act from our higher source—our intention—not from the ego, but from that spark of divinity that is in all of us. When we act from that place, we know we are being true to ourselves. We are expressing energy that is coming from our soul. We are spirit in action.
  • Choice is Freedom
    Choice is the only freedom we really have. Remember to say yes to what really matters in our life; to say yes to choose; to take time to pause, reflect and choose our intentions carefully; to self-observe our thoughts and feelings; and to act authentically from that sacred place of love and strength.

We may want to ask ourselves what miraculous moments had I missed by being casually dismissive, letting my ego make my choice, thinking the practical path was best? 

Sometimes we let guilt be the determining factor in our choice points. We have all heard statement about Catholic guilt. It’s not just the Catholics! It’s part of our domestication.

And many of us may have heard our mother remind us how she stayed in an unhappy marriage ‘because of us kids’ so we can feel guilty about that. That was not our fault.

The interesting thing about guilt is that it only works when we let it.

Be aware exactly what you feel guilty for and more importantly who that guilt is linked to.

Often, we say no first up but then people keep badgering us until we say yes. This whole situation is no fun at all. It’s exhausting and draining to have to keep saying the same thing over and over again.

If someone is badgering you to do something you definitely don’t want to do, you need to realize that they are not respecting you.

Set some boundaries! Whether it’s one person or a group, hold people up on their behavior and stand up for yourself.

That group or person you are trying so hard to impress might not even be part of your life a year from now.

You get to choose who you want to be and who you want to spend your time with.

Choose wisely.

If people are trying to pressure you into doing things you don’t want to do (particularly if they are harmful, dangerous or just plain stupid) these people are not the ones to have in your corner and they are definitely not the ones to feel pressured by.

It’s easier said than done but remember you get to choose. It has to be your choice; what is right for you. AS we say, ‘doing what is ours to do’.

What is the right thing for you is not necessarily right for another. They get to choose too,

No oughts and shoulds, either

How Often Do You Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda?

When you are trying to help people, whether it be friends, family or co-workers you can end up doing things that you don’t want to do.

However, trying to help can become a problem when the person you are trying to help does nothing to help themselves. (tough love)

Helping people is a wonderful thing and we don’t want to give up on people who need our help, but people have to be willing to take some responsibility for their own lives as well.

Keep in mind, no is an option. We don’t need to over explain or justify our ‘no’

No is an answer all by itself. Stop explaining and justifying your choices. Say no politely and firmly. Don’t lie – this might come back to bite you later.

It’s time to stop saying yes when you want to say no. Continue to help people but take into consideration your own needs as well.

A yes is nothing without the no that gives it boundaries and form. Learn to say yes, a little more slowly — ask more questions before committing, no matter what side of the question you’re on.

Remember, every time you say YES to something, you are saying NO to something else.

It could be time for yourself or your family or friends. And those things are just as, if not more important to you.


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